How Decluttering Made me a Happier Mom
A few months back I decided I wanted to learn to be happy by having less. I stumbled upon concepts called capsule wardrobe and minimalism which led me to a documentary on Minimalism on Netflix. I really enjoyed this and started to see that materialism was not bringing me any happiness. In fact, I would learn later, was causing me more anxiety and restlessness in my own home. I found myself constantly needing to clean, leaving laundry piled up for days, dishes not being done and so on. I couldn’t understand why it was so difficult to keep a two bedroom apartment clean. I was stressed and annoyed and even taking it out on my family.
Soon after, I stumbled upon the book: The Life Changing Magic of Tidying up by Marie Kondo (yes before the Netflix show came out) and it truly was life changing. For someone who does not love to read, I could not put it down and finished it within a week. The next week, during my husbands paternity, we decluttered and purged the entire apartment. It was as exhausting as it looks on the show but it was so worth it. It was therapeutic and felt as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulder.
We went through each room, cabinet and drawer. I could not believe how much crap we had in this small apartment. I commend my husband who took countless trips to the dumpster and donation centers. It wouldn’t have been possible without him. I was holding on to clothes that were years old in the hopes of fitting into them one day. I had a cabinet full of plastic tupperware that was just a mess. The biggest realization I had was I had overdecorated my apartment especially for seasons which created extra noise. I was wasting money and time which only brought me temporary happiness and addiction of wanting more.
After finishing the book, these were my biggest takeaways and light bulb moments.
Tidying should be a special event, not a constant nuisance.
It took us about 5 days to do the whole apartment. I can honestly say after we tidied up about 2 months ago, cleaning has never been so simple. It takes me about 30 minutes each day to straighten up; laundry is put away the same or next day and dishes are done every night.
Discard first, organize later.
This is extremely important. Before buying organization items, first discard items you’re not keeping. It doesn’t make sense to bring in more stuff when you’re trying to get rid of more stuff. Believe me, it’ll be a smoother transition. I also even found baskets and bins in my apartment I used for organizing.If you’re going to tidy up the whole whose, do it by category not location.
Instead of organziing a drawer at a time, choose a category: clothing (tops, bottoms); shoes, decor, kitchen items, etc. Most of us have items in multiple locations. This helps us see everything we have all at once in that category and only keep what we love.
Decide what kind of lifestyle you want and build around it.
I really wanted a minimalistic and simple lifestyle. I don’t like a lot of noise and am happy with neutral colors and simple lines. This really brought me joy.Putting things away creates an illusion that the clutter has been solved aka ‘storage organizing’
Organizing is important but finding more storage solution is not. Vacuum ziploc bags, bins under beds and piling items on top of one another will usually be forgotten.Pick up each item and ask yourself “Does this spark joy?”
As funny as this feels, this is the best technique when trying to figure out what to keep and what to discard. Usually most of us choose what to get rid of. Now, you choose from your closet only items you love. I was really only left with 1/4 of my closet after I did this!
After organizing, items should be visible. If you keep stuffing items in the back, it means you have too much.
I used this rule for every part of my apartment: my wardrobe, kitchen cabinets, drawers and so on. This now gives me a visual of all that I have. This avoids forgetting about items and buying doubles.
Every item should have a place.
This is what keeps my place tidy every single day. Throughout the day of course it’s not perfect but at the end of the day everything is back in its place. I wake up to a clean house which really gives me a sense of calm I didn’t even know I was longing for.
Fold items compact as possible and store items vertically.
This is the most popular part of the process you’ve probably seen on the show. It may seem silly at first but now my clothes and the kids clothes are always organized and visible.
Life becomes far easier once you know that things will work out even if you are lacking something.
In the end it will be okay. Reality is we will always want more. But do need more? Fast fashion, cheap decor and marketing has convinced us we can quickly get rid of stuff and just get more new stuff. We need to against the addiction of materials and learn to be content with less. Happiness will come from spending time with our loved ones and enjoying new experiences.
After the therapeutic and exhausting week of purging, it was all worth it. I’m much happier, more calm and yelling less at my family. Everyone joined in on the tidying process including my toddler and now we all have changed for the better!